Stealing is wrong. Unless it is internet from your neighbor. Then it's their own damn fault for not password protecting.

Okay. It’s going to be a long update. Hopefully I’ll be entertaining enough that you’ll read all the way through.

First Topic: St. Bernard Project

This is my sponsor this round. I was sent through three weeks of training in mold remediation, insulation, drywall, mudding, flooring, and finishing work. I can not tell you how amazing it feels and how empowering it is to have all of these skills under my belt. The three weeks of training I went through was nothing but. I woke up everyday so excited to go to work and learn with Delta 6 (the team that came down with us) on a house. SO MUCH FUN. Then, the three week training period ended and we were sent out to site supervise our own house. STRESS THROUGH THE ROOF. Running your own house, leading groups of volunteers, teaching these skills to people who have never been on a construction…. This shit just isn’t for me. I do well enough with it I think, I just stress myself out way to much over it. I’ve been one of the lucky few who have a co-site supervisor most days. I’m really pretty great at everything I’ve been taught, I just have an issue with being able to teach it to others.

Table saw training. Sweet Shades, I know

I thought for a while I just sucked at leading volunteers (which was overwhelming and discouraging because I want to be a Team Leader later this year – more on that later), but then I was put on a mold house which doesn’t take any skill, you scrub, rub, paint, and fog, so you don’t have to teach anything. I was awesome at leading those volunteers. I hung out, cracked jokes, was very informative about the New Orleans area, answered questions, rallied the team when I needed to… it was great. I can lead. I just lose faith in myself when I have to lead volunteers on something I’m not even sure I’m great at, like mudding. I’ve been working on it though, rebuilding that confidence, asking questions when I need to, and faking it when I don’t get immediate answers. I think I’ll probably finally have the hang of it in the next two weeks – which is when I leave! Awesome.

Painting baseboard training. It's confusing work. 

…actually, it is awesome, because these are important things to have in being a team leader. This project has been the most difficult, my least favorite, and incredibly stressful. However, it is the one I have grown most in. I wanted to be a team leader during CTI, but didn’t think I could actually handle it. First and second round, I thought about applying, but constantly second guessed myself in whether or not I could handle it. With only two weeks left in this round and all that I’ve been through, I know I can handle it. Which leads me to….

Second Topic: Team Leader Interview

It was last week. I don’t think I did great. I know everyone says that… but for realsies. I was just okay. I didn’t completely suck, but I didn’t completely blow them away with a totally awesome interview. I was just okay.

This is where I took my phone interview. The back room of a house in the process of mold remediation during a thunder and lightening storm. The house had no windows. It was nice and loud for me. 

I started off great. I was confident, spoke clearly, calmly, and coolly. Then they started asking me questions, I hadn’t thought about. Like what would I do if I had a corps member who felt like they didn’t belong to the team and wasn’t enjoying they’re time in AmeriCorps. …Well, shit. I don’t know what I would do. I said I would talk to that individual, to get a better understanding as to why. Then I said that I found that question difficult, I’m not entirely sure what I would do, I would have to call someone, like the campus counselor or my unit leader and ask for help.

…shit.

I was just okay.

So now, I’m stressing like crazy about the interview. Okay is not a good feeling. I’d much rather have the feeling that I was horrible. It would be easier to deal with. Right now I feel like it could go either way and I don’t know how to prepare for that.

I need to stop worrying though, I’m making myself sick. My head wont stop pounding, my throat has been sore for a few days, I’m incredibly tired. Which makes me worry that my mono is going to relapse. Which stresses me out even more!

Shit!  Next, non-stressful topic!

Third Topic: Mardi Gras

Was so great! St, Charles Avenue was the place to be, and I was definitely there, 5 days straight! Parades, booze, making friends with strangers, dancing, more booze. I cannot believe I had the energy to keep going. It was too much! I have soooo many beads it’s insane and I didn’t have to show my boobies for them! Just bat my pretty lashes and smile. I got roses, and stuffed animals, and cups, and I can’t wait to send them all to my nieces and nephews.

The REX Parade

Beads and Booze

Fourth Topic: New Orleans

This is such an incredible city. I think everyone should come down and visit for 2 months at the least! It’s so big and vibrant and exciting and there is just too much to see and do and learn! Garden District is so beautiful, I could live there forever. French quarter is a ton of fun, such a great area day and night. Uptown has got some terrific little shops. Those are really the only areas I’ve explored, I know if I had time to adventure out more often I’d fall in love with all of the other areas of New Orleans.

The south just continues to win my heart. Northwest, you better watch your back.

For funsies: Team Yoga pic

Life without an internet connection...

...means less internet updates!


St. Bernard Project. So much too say, too lazy to type it.
Over all I am enjoying the project. I've been sufficiently trained in construction and I've been forced to become comfortable in leading a group of people.

It has been incredibly difficult at times, but it has also been incredibly fun at times. I still struggle a little with the new team, but I have grown tremendously on this project round. I have been told by many previous corps members that third round is the toughest.... they were completely right.



None of this makes any sense. I'll have to try this again some other time.

It's Mardi Gras weekend...... I'm exhausted and in a perpetual state of being hung over.

Coffee.

After almost 6 months of living and working in AmeriCorps NCCC, I've come to realize something about myself. I love coffee. I love it... SO much. 

This isn't a shock to anyone who knows me. It's obvious I enjoy a cup, or two or three, of coffee, or a daily latte. But coffee, I've realized, is so much more to me. It's my release. When I get stressed, annoyed, angry, feel suffocated by everyone, grumpy in anyway... I go grab a hot steamy mug of coffee or find my way to the nearest coffee house and just ignore everyone and everything until I feel like I can forget about my problems or deal with them. I spend so much money on coffee and I've tried cutting back, but I honestly think I would go insane without it. Coffee has become my sanity. 

Having said that, let me inform you that I am at a coffee house right now. 

I told my Team Leader that I hated this team a couple days ago. Today I told her our team is pretty awesome. She called me out on it. I laughed. Then I realized I don't hate this team. I hate that I have to learn a new system, and new dynamics, and new ways to deal with the new team. Now that I see that, I think this round will be a bit easier. Not easy, easier. I'm still struggling with not having Chelsea to go out with and just chill and relax and ignore the AmeriWorld with. I hate that Lisa and I started forming a definite friendship, one that will last outside of AmeriCorps, and were split up. I hate that Aaron and I no longer have the let's-pick-on-each-other-like-brother-and-sister relationship to look forward to everyday (except through text). It fucking sucks. However, I have made huge strides in how I deal with change and misfortune. I'm upset about how things played out, but not defeated. Aaron asked me the other day if i was still content with being in AmeriCorps. I told him I was until the work day ended. I don't think that is so true anymore. I just need to adjust. And I am so thankful that I have a Team Leader willing to listen and  to challenge me and to help me through it. 

__________________________________________

So, what am I doing this round you ask?

I just finished the first week of Construction Site Supervisor Training. That's right. I'm going to be a site super, on a construction site...

I didn't think it was possible either! But we have had training in insulation, drywall, mudding, and mold remediation so far and I gotta say... I'm freaking awesome! our trainers are incredible. They're teaching us the techniques but they are really instilling a confidence I didn't know I could have. I still have two weeks of training left before they put me on my site and already i feel comfortable with the though of leading a group of volunteers by myself. 

The houses we'll be supervising are homes still needing to be rebuilt after Katrina. Each of us will have our own house to supervise. 

I'm living in Chalmette, LA which like all of the New Orleans area was hit hard by The Storm. These houses sat in water 6-24 feet for 2-4 weeks. Then when families were given the okay to come home, they were being told their homeowner's insurance only covered what damage wasn't caused by flooding, and their houses had recently been rezoned and weren't covered by flood insurance anymore. So some called in private contractors to rebuild for them, only to fall victim of construction fraud. You've heard the stories of the FEMA trailors. A place to live until you start getting sick from the formaldehyde. Whoops, sorry, let's recall those. Now you're homeless. I worked on a house whose homeowner has been living in the shed behind his house. He got plumbing the day we were there. no walls in his house yet, but he was ecstatic because he had a toilet. he christened that thing while we were there too! 

It's so crazy. I've been asking why are things still like this since the day I got into town. I've realized it's because we don't live in a Utopia. I forget that sometimes. I like to think the community takes care of itself and everyone takes care of each other, but that's not how it is. It's up to the individual to fix their own situation. Sure, there is an outreach going on, but it's not big enough. It's not enough period. St. Bernard Project, the non-profit I am working with, is putting forth a tremendous effort to get people home. There are other organizations in the area doing the same thing, but there should be more! More should be happening! It's frustrating.

Me, prepping for insulation installation. 

Drywall sawing and supervising.

Measurin' and Measurin' and Cuttin'

I don't see all negative. I see the hope alive in this city, in the individuals helping, in the residents, and it's so exciting to be a part of it. I just have to remind myself constantly, like I said before, we don't live in a Utopian world. I am, though, glad that I am part of a group who is trying to get at least a taste of it out there. 

I should be working on my resume....

...but that's no fun!

I've heard some people complaining about how long transitions are, but I really appreciate this down time. Especially when they designate such large blocks of time to work on things like resumes, job applications, college applications, ect. ...because it allows me time to ignore those things and update my blog! Ha.

I have five months left. Holy dang. It seems like such a long time. I'm looking forward to these last five months but I am also itching to go on to the next thing! Even though, I'm fairly sure the next thing for me... is Team Leader...so I would still be doing that same thing, but different. I still have a "shit-ton" (as a kitchen mate would say) of experience and skills to be learned before I am anywhere near ready to lead a group of 8-10 peers.

So I talked to my Unit Leader. I have talked to my Team Leader. I have talked to many Corps Members and friends. They all seem to be supportive of my interest in Team Leader. A lot of my friends here have expressed that they think I would be excellent. Which is nice to know. Paige was telling me about when she filled out her Team Leader app and how she realized how important it was to her to get the position because of how stressed she was. I then immediately realized how important the position is to me because of how much I am stressing.

So, I keep telling people I'm thinking about becoming a Team leader, but I really want to be a Team Leader. And I want to do it in Vicksburg. We shall see. I have a back up plan just in case, but I really hope I don't need to use it.

_________________________________

So, the life of a Corps Member, involves van cleanings. It is my absolute favorite to see all the government vehicles lined up being cleaned and inspected. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because it a routine thing and everyone has to do it and all the teams are located in one area at once, blaring music, chatting, and enjoying what we can out of the monotony, but I love it. We cleaned out vans today, which is why this topic was brought up:

This is a view of my favorite spot on campus. Sitting in the bay window in the second floor lounge with the view of the chapeltorium. If only the window wasn't so dirty this picture would be a lot more appealing. This is where I am sitting now. About to go back to resume writing and application filling. Enjoy your day, family (and anyone else who happens to be reading).

________________________________


Food for Thought:


Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect. –Karen Armstrong Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

Oh me, Oh my.

So. I've been back on campus a for almost a week now. Things are weird, but normal at the same time. I feel like I am home, though I still don't consider Vicksburg my home. I no longer consider all these people around me strictly Corps Members, but friends and family. This whole new life has finally become real. It's no longer a "program I am in" it's just my life. It's a love/hate relationship I have with this realization.

___________________________________

Chels, Dahlke, and Aaron seem to be integrating into their new teams well enough... There are moments for them I'm sure. I'm doing well with it. I have times when I see the team together and we're having a good time and I notice some people are missing and it really really sucks. I'm sure things will get fairly close to normal by the time we leave for spike, being on seperate teams, but then when we leave for spike it will hit full force and it will REALLY really suck.

___________________________________

I have to brag a bit:

Sunday: I did the Insanity workout (like P90X) AND I ran a mile and a half.
Monday: I did Insanity AND Corps PT.
Today: I did Insanity.
Tomorrow: I will do Insanity AND Corps PT.


SHIT FREAKING YEAH!


It feels great.
My eating habits have changed tremendously. I am a vegetarian. It definitely helps my control in making healthy food decisions.


I'm really taking this health/lifestyle change to a whole new level.


___________________________________


I am going to talk to Brendan (my Unit Leader) tomorrow about becoming a Team Leader. I am about 90% sure I want to do it. I have some questions I'd like answered before the final decision.

___________________________________

We took some electives today, I learned about careers in the government and Wade (the instructor/staff member on campus) helped steer me in the right direction in my search for careers that set up clean water sources on a global basis.

___________________________________

Even with the frustrations.... I am in love with my life.

Stuck in an airport!

I am currently in the Idaho Falls Regional Airport. Waiting for fog to lift in SLC so that I can continue my journey east, back to Vicksburg. Perfect time for a blog update!

Not that I have the energy to update all that has gone on since the last entry. Because so much has gone on. Too much, infact. The Louisville project ended really great, it was sad go leave but exciting to go back to campus and prepare for winter break. Un til we got back to campus and heard that sixteen Deltas had left the Corps. SIXTEEN. This means there are teams with only five individuals on them. Which means corps members are going to be shuffled around to make even, and better functioning teams. A lot of Deltas are unhappy with there current teams and have threatened to leave the program if a change isn't made. If too many more people leave it wont make the program look good and funding for next year could be shot.

Fine. A shuffle. Understandable. Five member teams won't get projects done for sponsors. But, shit, it sucks. Lisa, Chelsea, and Aaron are no longer Delta 5s. Lisa and Chelsea are Delta 4 and Aaron is Delta 1. They picked people off of teams to fill holes and threw the misfits on new teams. Like I said, I understand it, I just don't agree with how they did it. The people chosen feel like they're being targeted. There are now three huge holes left in the team's dynamic. I feel like they should have just mixed up all members of all teams and started from scratch. Or maybe they should just choose better applicants next time.


Christmas break, though, was really great. I've missed my family so much and I really needed the boost seeing them gave me to finish out these last five months.

The next two weeks will be filled with trainings in Vicksburg and then the newly shaped Delta 5 will head to Chalmette, Louisiana to work with the St. Bernard's Project in rebuilding homes that were destroyed by Katrina.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a very  Langoliers type airport to get back to being bored in.

Workin' 9 to 5... plus 5 more.

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Holy dang! I have been working 13 hour days. Which I think I could maybe handle if I could sleep through the night. I have been waking up 3 and 4 times during the middle of the night and only getting into a deep sleep right before my alarm goes off. My brain is not performing well and I get frazzled easily.

The last few weeks are going to be so draining. I'd much rather be back in that Spartina field!

I feel like I don't have any down time. We wake up, work, sleep, start all over.

Jo and Charlie filling gift bags

The Lisa buried nose deep in Angel Tree presents

Angel Tree presents ready for distribution

I haven't been able to keep up with my workouts like I'd hoped because I am too damn lazy to wake up at 5am and go to the gym. I tried working out last night at 10:30pm but it was too much. I might be able to through in an occasional pm workout, but I cant handle late night workouts all the time.

As frazzled as I get, and as stressful as it can be, and as busy as we are, I am really enjoying this project. The people we work with are so wonderful and our sponsors are so great. Our Florida sponsors will always be number one, but these guys are a close second.

I'm sick of talking about work.
Let's talk fun things.

Chelsea and I are reading The Patricia Briggs Series about Mercy Thompson. So Dorky, but so fun. Shes almost on the third book though, I was reading another book before I started this series so I need to catch up! It's set in my home town and I love reading it and knowing everything she is referring to! It makes me feel like I'm back home.

Lisa's Birthday was the other day!
Happy Birthday The Lisa!