Coffee.

After almost 6 months of living and working in AmeriCorps NCCC, I've come to realize something about myself. I love coffee. I love it... SO much. 

This isn't a shock to anyone who knows me. It's obvious I enjoy a cup, or two or three, of coffee, or a daily latte. But coffee, I've realized, is so much more to me. It's my release. When I get stressed, annoyed, angry, feel suffocated by everyone, grumpy in anyway... I go grab a hot steamy mug of coffee or find my way to the nearest coffee house and just ignore everyone and everything until I feel like I can forget about my problems or deal with them. I spend so much money on coffee and I've tried cutting back, but I honestly think I would go insane without it. Coffee has become my sanity. 

Having said that, let me inform you that I am at a coffee house right now. 

I told my Team Leader that I hated this team a couple days ago. Today I told her our team is pretty awesome. She called me out on it. I laughed. Then I realized I don't hate this team. I hate that I have to learn a new system, and new dynamics, and new ways to deal with the new team. Now that I see that, I think this round will be a bit easier. Not easy, easier. I'm still struggling with not having Chelsea to go out with and just chill and relax and ignore the AmeriWorld with. I hate that Lisa and I started forming a definite friendship, one that will last outside of AmeriCorps, and were split up. I hate that Aaron and I no longer have the let's-pick-on-each-other-like-brother-and-sister relationship to look forward to everyday (except through text). It fucking sucks. However, I have made huge strides in how I deal with change and misfortune. I'm upset about how things played out, but not defeated. Aaron asked me the other day if i was still content with being in AmeriCorps. I told him I was until the work day ended. I don't think that is so true anymore. I just need to adjust. And I am so thankful that I have a Team Leader willing to listen and  to challenge me and to help me through it. 

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So, what am I doing this round you ask?

I just finished the first week of Construction Site Supervisor Training. That's right. I'm going to be a site super, on a construction site...

I didn't think it was possible either! But we have had training in insulation, drywall, mudding, and mold remediation so far and I gotta say... I'm freaking awesome! our trainers are incredible. They're teaching us the techniques but they are really instilling a confidence I didn't know I could have. I still have two weeks of training left before they put me on my site and already i feel comfortable with the though of leading a group of volunteers by myself. 

The houses we'll be supervising are homes still needing to be rebuilt after Katrina. Each of us will have our own house to supervise. 

I'm living in Chalmette, LA which like all of the New Orleans area was hit hard by The Storm. These houses sat in water 6-24 feet for 2-4 weeks. Then when families were given the okay to come home, they were being told their homeowner's insurance only covered what damage wasn't caused by flooding, and their houses had recently been rezoned and weren't covered by flood insurance anymore. So some called in private contractors to rebuild for them, only to fall victim of construction fraud. You've heard the stories of the FEMA trailors. A place to live until you start getting sick from the formaldehyde. Whoops, sorry, let's recall those. Now you're homeless. I worked on a house whose homeowner has been living in the shed behind his house. He got plumbing the day we were there. no walls in his house yet, but he was ecstatic because he had a toilet. he christened that thing while we were there too! 

It's so crazy. I've been asking why are things still like this since the day I got into town. I've realized it's because we don't live in a Utopia. I forget that sometimes. I like to think the community takes care of itself and everyone takes care of each other, but that's not how it is. It's up to the individual to fix their own situation. Sure, there is an outreach going on, but it's not big enough. It's not enough period. St. Bernard Project, the non-profit I am working with, is putting forth a tremendous effort to get people home. There are other organizations in the area doing the same thing, but there should be more! More should be happening! It's frustrating.

Me, prepping for insulation installation. 

Drywall sawing and supervising.

Measurin' and Measurin' and Cuttin'

I don't see all negative. I see the hope alive in this city, in the individuals helping, in the residents, and it's so exciting to be a part of it. I just have to remind myself constantly, like I said before, we don't live in a Utopian world. I am, though, glad that I am part of a group who is trying to get at least a taste of it out there. 

I should be working on my resume....

...but that's no fun!

I've heard some people complaining about how long transitions are, but I really appreciate this down time. Especially when they designate such large blocks of time to work on things like resumes, job applications, college applications, ect. ...because it allows me time to ignore those things and update my blog! Ha.

I have five months left. Holy dang. It seems like such a long time. I'm looking forward to these last five months but I am also itching to go on to the next thing! Even though, I'm fairly sure the next thing for me... is Team Leader...so I would still be doing that same thing, but different. I still have a "shit-ton" (as a kitchen mate would say) of experience and skills to be learned before I am anywhere near ready to lead a group of 8-10 peers.

So I talked to my Unit Leader. I have talked to my Team Leader. I have talked to many Corps Members and friends. They all seem to be supportive of my interest in Team Leader. A lot of my friends here have expressed that they think I would be excellent. Which is nice to know. Paige was telling me about when she filled out her Team Leader app and how she realized how important it was to her to get the position because of how stressed she was. I then immediately realized how important the position is to me because of how much I am stressing.

So, I keep telling people I'm thinking about becoming a Team leader, but I really want to be a Team Leader. And I want to do it in Vicksburg. We shall see. I have a back up plan just in case, but I really hope I don't need to use it.

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So, the life of a Corps Member, involves van cleanings. It is my absolute favorite to see all the government vehicles lined up being cleaned and inspected. I'm not sure why, maybe it's because it a routine thing and everyone has to do it and all the teams are located in one area at once, blaring music, chatting, and enjoying what we can out of the monotony, but I love it. We cleaned out vans today, which is why this topic was brought up:

This is a view of my favorite spot on campus. Sitting in the bay window in the second floor lounge with the view of the chapeltorium. If only the window wasn't so dirty this picture would be a lot more appealing. This is where I am sitting now. About to go back to resume writing and application filling. Enjoy your day, family (and anyone else who happens to be reading).

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Food for Thought:


Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect. –Karen Armstrong Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

Oh me, Oh my.

So. I've been back on campus a for almost a week now. Things are weird, but normal at the same time. I feel like I am home, though I still don't consider Vicksburg my home. I no longer consider all these people around me strictly Corps Members, but friends and family. This whole new life has finally become real. It's no longer a "program I am in" it's just my life. It's a love/hate relationship I have with this realization.

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Chels, Dahlke, and Aaron seem to be integrating into their new teams well enough... There are moments for them I'm sure. I'm doing well with it. I have times when I see the team together and we're having a good time and I notice some people are missing and it really really sucks. I'm sure things will get fairly close to normal by the time we leave for spike, being on seperate teams, but then when we leave for spike it will hit full force and it will REALLY really suck.

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I have to brag a bit:

Sunday: I did the Insanity workout (like P90X) AND I ran a mile and a half.
Monday: I did Insanity AND Corps PT.
Today: I did Insanity.
Tomorrow: I will do Insanity AND Corps PT.


SHIT FREAKING YEAH!


It feels great.
My eating habits have changed tremendously. I am a vegetarian. It definitely helps my control in making healthy food decisions.


I'm really taking this health/lifestyle change to a whole new level.


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I am going to talk to Brendan (my Unit Leader) tomorrow about becoming a Team Leader. I am about 90% sure I want to do it. I have some questions I'd like answered before the final decision.

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We took some electives today, I learned about careers in the government and Wade (the instructor/staff member on campus) helped steer me in the right direction in my search for careers that set up clean water sources on a global basis.

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Even with the frustrations.... I am in love with my life.

Stuck in an airport!

I am currently in the Idaho Falls Regional Airport. Waiting for fog to lift in SLC so that I can continue my journey east, back to Vicksburg. Perfect time for a blog update!

Not that I have the energy to update all that has gone on since the last entry. Because so much has gone on. Too much, infact. The Louisville project ended really great, it was sad go leave but exciting to go back to campus and prepare for winter break. Un til we got back to campus and heard that sixteen Deltas had left the Corps. SIXTEEN. This means there are teams with only five individuals on them. Which means corps members are going to be shuffled around to make even, and better functioning teams. A lot of Deltas are unhappy with there current teams and have threatened to leave the program if a change isn't made. If too many more people leave it wont make the program look good and funding for next year could be shot.

Fine. A shuffle. Understandable. Five member teams won't get projects done for sponsors. But, shit, it sucks. Lisa, Chelsea, and Aaron are no longer Delta 5s. Lisa and Chelsea are Delta 4 and Aaron is Delta 1. They picked people off of teams to fill holes and threw the misfits on new teams. Like I said, I understand it, I just don't agree with how they did it. The people chosen feel like they're being targeted. There are now three huge holes left in the team's dynamic. I feel like they should have just mixed up all members of all teams and started from scratch. Or maybe they should just choose better applicants next time.


Christmas break, though, was really great. I've missed my family so much and I really needed the boost seeing them gave me to finish out these last five months.

The next two weeks will be filled with trainings in Vicksburg and then the newly shaped Delta 5 will head to Chalmette, Louisiana to work with the St. Bernard's Project in rebuilding homes that were destroyed by Katrina.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a very  Langoliers type airport to get back to being bored in.